A very pheasant day

No, that's not a typo!

Pheasants were the go-to critters at the Reserve today. I scared a female out of her hiding place and she started calling for the mate, so sweet. He replied but didn't come to rescue her. She didn't want to leave so i thought she had eggs, but I couldn't see any.

Then, up the track, I saw two males facing off. They were making a noise but mainly just looked at each other. After two minutes, there was some fighting. The looking continued and I left.

I had been sitting with Kairos and while I did so I tried that old Emotional Clearing thing I used to do. I saw some brown stuff trying to flow out of me, but I had the message "there is nowhere to put it". I relate to that: my anger, resentment, resistance, I have nowhere to put it. That is an issue. It holds me back.

I was also meditating on some questions a friend put to me, concerning my feelings about embodiment. About how you cannot divorce mind and matter. Gay had asked me, well, where will my consciousness go when I die? I said, it won't go anywhere. It disappears. You're dead. She wasn't happy about this. But what I should have said was, where does your life go? Same answer. It disappears. You're dead. I do not think there's free floating consciousness or free floating life. I don't think we are in consciousness or in life. What we are in, and made of, is the WORLD. So, I was thinking about this embodiment thing and I realised I feel thrust into the position of a translator, but I am not proficient in either language. I need skills and guidance. I want to live up to this unasked for role, but I don't know how. I do now that being earth-stuff in earth-stuff is when I feel best.