All change

I made my decision. Or I guess it became apparent when I realised that it was now or never. Did I want to be alone at home or with family in our family home when the lockdown came?

So, as Boris spoke to the nation, telling everyone to stay in their houses, I was halfway between one and the other and I went on.

I was half expecting road blocks and armed forces. A helicopter whirly-birdying above me. Flashing lights and severe, masked faces. The cats screamed in their box constantly for the first hour and a half - during which time one escaped and started climbing around the car. He couldn't get far, with the boxes and bags, duvet and pillows, microphone and stand, art supplies, food and crate of wine. Oh, and the dog.

I stopped at a service station. Forced him back in while stopping the other one from clambering out. Tied up the box more securely. Carried on.

A detour through a city for roadworks at my junction. Silent streets. I drove past my old school and out on the road I once so often traveled. So dark. Quiet. Lorries parked in lay-bys, drivers sleeping. other cars, stuffed full of gear and making their break for the country.

And back home. The drive with the daffodils in the headlights, past their best but still golden glowing. I parked and the dog, for the first time in four hours, whined.

My family came out - but hugs were out of the question. Although we are sharing space and so the social distancing has limits, there's caution and diligence. It makes sense.

All I wanted was to fall into their embraces and weep. Instead, unpacking.

This is an interesting social experiment, no? One that it doesn't take a sociology professor to regard with curiosity.

In my case, I adore my brother and sister-in-law. We spend, though, on average, about 50 hours a year together. For the next three weeks minimum - more like two months or... or... -we are together on one property. Plus their aged cats and my cats and dog. We, my household, are in a garage extension. It's a 5* garage extension - I even have a caravan loo (and toilet paper). So we have space - but there's eating together, shared space in the house - where the real bathroom, kitchen and wifi are. A need to organise and plan. To be flexible and generous (my God, are they being generous!)

In other homes, children who need education and entertainment. Couples who never spend so much time together apart from on holiday with beaches and sea and the sun easing tensions. And people alone, as I would have been.

Other people are our hell and our salvation. Eye contact and touch soothe us and bring us calm. Discord and disagreement rouse all the emotions of alarm. The feelings of others are contagious. It behooves me to bring my best feelings to the fore. To be at peace, accepting, compassionate and grateful; helpful, thankful and courageous.