Be generous...

So, I will not pretend that I think this is any good. BUT, it is evidence that i am starting to shift and, what's more, there has been some desire to paint.

In part, I credit the long overdue feelings of it being summer not winter. In addition, though, I think there is a loosening of my self-criticism, in part through reading the IMcG book.

Why should that come about?

To a certain extent, I have a kind of anxiety that it's all going to end up with, yes, everything is one and it's all made of consciousness and fueled by love. And then what? I have to simply accept it?? Because Iain says so? Maybe I will. I think the flavour might be less, or not at all, obnoxious to me in the Gestalt of it, rather than the mere description.

But back to the sense of loosening. And I think that the writing of processes, the primacy of relationship, and the embodiment feel very right to me. He is also very interested in the unconscious - and it remains my conviction that the quality of the unconscious is empowered by a certain state of attention. Curiosity, openness, willingness to be uncertain and to hold in mind something and its opposite. All that helps our intuition to flourish and enables us better to heed it.

In Hayley Wood, when I saw the deer, it was the openness to what was happening, the listening, and the intuitive turn of the head. All that comes about through being an embodied mind, rather than a thinking thing.

Anyway, I shall continue my daily painting habit and see if it, eventually, takes me through to something I will really like.