I came to in a dream, that semi-lucid-dreaming state, where you sort of know it's a dream but at the same time are fully drawn in to the emotional significance of the action.
What was being played out was a murder. A triple murder. In those scary silhouette figures often used to illustrate Russian fairy tales. The victims were a family, mother, father and child. They were the March family. It was horrible to witness. The killer was enjoying it, playing with them. I was a powerless witness and I forced myself awake. My heart was beating hard and fast and I thought, 'This is real. It's happening.' I was waiting to see the silhouette appear in the shadows of my bedroom. Then I remembered that the dog was with me. He wasn't barking. It was ok. It was ok. And I slept again.
Today I had a text from the vet saying the dog's vaccination is due next month. I called the surgery to tell them I didn't want to come in. Not really. Not at the moment. Hayley, with her lovely, rational, sensible young voice, told me that they were advising many owners to stay away but that the dog would need his booster. She told me there's a three month window. I can call again in June, early July. Surely, by then...
Right now, of course, this is real, this is happening. And it is like a nightmare. One we can't wake from. A friend in Australia says the shops are empty. No toilet roll anywhere. How much will these hoarders charge? Or will they, Good Samaritans at heart, donate their excess to the commonweal? One can hope that a Dunkirk spirit will in time replace self-serving mindsets.
Indeed, my generation, and the one before me, those of us born in much of Europe, the USA, Australia, Canada and the like, we have been blessed by history. Never has it been so good in so many ways. We have been spared wars and famines for the most part. We have had the benefits of modern medicine and some kind of welfare state. We have had labour saving devices and fun technology. Good food, from all over the world at all times of the year. And what have we done? Become polarised and fixated with our own identities, needs and circumscribed beliefs. We demand respect, attention and empathy from everyone. We give praise only to those who agree with us. We blame the world for everything and ourselves for nothing. We have been focused on consumption and image and individualism. We use reason and the selected evidence of experts to 'prove' that we are right, rather than acknowledging complexity. We see the world through blinkers.
Because, of course, even in our fortunate societies there have been people suffering as a result of this changed set of priorities. The people who cannot trust technocrats telling them, as I just did, that we've never had it so good, because they, in parts of the north of England, say, or the Rust Belt of the USA, know damn well that life's actually been getting harder. So they are labelled reactionary. They are criticised for failing to self-improve. How does that play out? In frustration, anger, chronic pain. The haves have never really stopped ignoring or denigrating the have nots. Blaming them for not having. William Davies' book Nervous States: How Feeling Took Over the World is great on this. You have time to read.
We cannot afford to sit in our bunkers affirming our rights and rightness while denying the valid needs and concerns of others.
And now we have this. Our test. Our challenge. Will we rise to it or fall apart?
This coronavirus. Take the view from nowhere. Detach the human-eyed prism. It is a natural reaction to some unnatural situation (say, wild food markets), enabled to spread rapidly due to our close proximity to each other (city living) and global travel. It has traversed the globe in weeks, this tiny virus. It took our species millennia to achieve the same reach. It is a masterpiece of nature. A shame for us that it is killing us. The silhouette that threatens our lives and our lifestyle.
It is not the 'worst' possible pandemic - in that the mortality rate is not so high (high enough - I'm not complacent or understating the very real concerns for many of us). It is an alarm bell. A horrible one. And, because it's an acute problem, it is more salient, it seems, than the chronic issue of on-going human-created climate change.
In ancient Mesopotamia, I think about 5000 years ago, 90% of the population lived in cities. It took us all the time between then and now to achieve the same density. In the intervening time, until modern hygiene standards, sewage systems, refuse collection, antibiotics and medicines, all the great cities collapsed. Ur, Tyre, Ninevah. We are testing again a format that has failed in the past. To get beyond collapse, what is required? What are we willing to do?
Chilling. And I can't argue with what you say. What most of us need to hear, I suppose. Thanks Crone.