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  • Writer's pictureCrone

Watching, seeing, attending

Anders was very anxious as I refilled the bird food and went up to the other end of the garden to put his food out.

Clare says he has his winter woollies on and if he's not eating every last scrap of food, which he isn't, then he's probably doing very well. So, that's a relief.

My eyes have not yet received the benefit of the glasses. I can't wait for them to arrive.

But the glasses and the Muse headset have not been the limit of my recent spending. In fact, I have been profligate. I bought skin care from Kiehl's a few weeks back, a crate of wine from Waitrose, supplies for the vape-addiction, more books, clothes for me, winter boots. clothes for presents, a thing to clean behind radiators (did two radiators, finding one sock, and also unplugged the sink in the kitchen - RESULT!), CBD gummies... I think that's it. But really. If I'd sent that in money to the malaria people, I'd get an OBE.

I spoke to a friend today who wants to mentor disturbed young people. She wants to do good. Which is admirable. I've said before that I... well, don't. Despite the moral philosophy. I think in part that it's because I don't really want to help abstract people. Or, people. Most of my charitable donations are for animals. But I still don't DO anything - apart from feeding Anders and the birds (and squizzels). In part, I justify this by a cynicism about help. OK, this is what it comes down to, and it would be a FAIL in any philosophical dispute: I think the best things people do (apart from the saving lives and so on - back to malaria) are what Ben did to me... what happened when I talked to my friend Elly on Skype or when I speak with Richard or when I saw my friend those weeks back... the 'thou' thing. Nothing touches the soul so much as to be seen and known and validated by another.

Today I was illegally boxing. Ali was throwing a punch that I had to avoid. I realised that in doing this, in making it convincing, but making sue he didn't hit me, in registering ME, he was doing the same sort of thing that Ben did. That complete attention on the other for their own sake. There is, I argue, nothing better a person can do than that.

If a mentor does that, then indeed it's invaluable.

Can my dog and cats do that for me? I don't know. I will ask Leanne and Clare - they will have a better answer than any moral philosopher.

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