Cat worship does not include the following things:
The delay of feeding. This is punished by screaming.
The giving of medication in pill or liquid form into the mouth. This is punished by lacerations.
The cutting of claws. This too is punished with lacerations.
The ignoring of play requests. This is punished by incessant screaming.
The ignoring of affection requests. This is punished by slight clawing of the face, neck and ears.
The use of FaceTime, Zoom or Microsoft Teams. This is punished by a combination of the above plus books being knocked off shelves and inter-feline warfare.
The working in the office. This is punished in ways akin to the use of FaceTime etc.
Cat worship, clearly, involves feeding, affection and play.
In addition, it also requires:
The provision of mammalian flesh (which is warm and moderately soft) for sleeping on.
The provision of surfaces of various heights to climb or jump between.
The provision of comfortable secure spots above radiators or in the conservatory.
The provision of birds and small mammals in the garden to watch.
The provision of a shoulder from which to regard the reflection of the world in the bathroom mirrors.
The provision of places to scratch.
It appears that the repeated use of a sound like a hum crossed with an ummm in a reassuring and affectionate tone is appreciated. This seems to be considered as the best approximation a human can achieve to a purr.
It is appreciated if the human comes to understand the communication of particular facial, body, ear and tail gestures. By obeying these gestures, the intensification of communication (screams, lacerations etc) is not required.
The blessings of worship are company, warmth, beauty, intimacy, communication, connection and interspecies friendship. The purr heals souls and the fur soothes hearts and the togetherness calms minds.
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