Look carefully

They aren't specks on the lens, silly. They're starlings. And in the tree too.

The starlings come and feed noisily in my garden. They gobble up the food as if it's going out of fashion and stream away as soon as they so much as imagine my presence. Some mornings I see them, with the fat pigeon, waiting for me to return from the park as that's when I fill the feeders.

The little blighters are watching me.

As of course is CD.

He has a lovely tail, don't you think?

Today I was throwing dog treats in the air - in front of him in his tree. I wanted him to catch them. He watched them go up. He watched them go down. But no attempt to do like a dog and snap them out of the air.

My mind seems to be taking a bit of down time. It is not bursting with ideas. It is in hibernation. My feelings too. I am an absence at the moment.

In a way, this is a rather nice way to be.

Yesterday, when I was writing about being happened to, I failed to say that I came upon this in meditation... and it made me wonder if Anneka Harris's idea about experiences without an experiencer is really so damn stupid as I'd thought.

I mean, we think we are all self-directed action. We think and we experience and we act and these things are as it were the behaviours of the beings that we are. But if we are becomings that are being happened to, then experiences happen, thoughts appear, actions occur and in the process we become more. But we are like a passive process of becoming. A subjectless process, with subjectivity as another experience that happens in the becoming.

Essentially, the subjectivity doesn't matter. It's helpful as part of the process of becoming... Must be. Haven't worked that out yet... No, it is helpful. What I mean by it not mattering is that it's not essential to most of the becomings. Beyond a certain level of complexity, it must be useful... enhancing learning, plasticity, differentiation.

The problem is that it's another thing that can go wrong. It brings bugs as well as features along with it. And maybe we have more bugs - or more dangerous bugs - than do other subjective becomings?