Broken

The other night I dreamed that some forests were being cut down and all that remained were burning. I was standing there doing nothing.

I guess that’s how I feel about the world.

What was it I was listening to the other day? Oh, yes, the Living One series, and the speaker says to think of what really hurts you – like forests being cut down – and then consider how your own actions may be supporting exactly that. Well, from what I understand, being a vegan I might be a little less tangentially responsible than most. But, what do I do about the ideology of global capitalism that supports profiteering and short-termism and human exceptionalism and the power of the monied classes? Nothing.

Then again, what can I do? Write a poem or a blog post? Paint a picture? Make a little film about drainage or fencing? Find badger setts?

And consider all the things I do that support the global whatsit – avocadoes, diesel, professional football, iPhones, some shares, internet shopping…

I keep crying.

A world that was so full of complexity and diversity being simplified and reduced and flattened.

Disenchanted.

It’s so sad that hearing a mistle thrush singing can’t create enough joy to compete with Insta.

It’s so sad that more people seem to want to kill foxes than would love to see one.

It’s so sad that so much is invested in creating silicon complexity while so little is spent on protecting the complexity of an ancient woodland.

It’s so sad that we will do so much to protect people from a 1 in 100,000 risk and so little to protect other species from certain danger.