Could I spend any longer? Part 1

It was my Kairos day. Yet another Kairos day. So, off I went to the Reserve. The butterfly of the day was the ringlet.

Though I also saw marbled whites.

By the tree, I was surrounded by bird children and their parents. Avian Mums'n'Tots. A moth landed on my notebook.

Tortrix viridana, or the green oak moth. They are oak specialists, like that purple hairstreak butterfly the other day.

I wanted to ask Kairos about the long ago accident. Was there a reason for it.

He said, "You cannot talk of things that you do not know."

And now I know?

"You have to keep finding the knowledge in your bones."

And what am I to do with this knowledge?

"Not to speak it."

OK....

"Guide into experience of it."

That was kind of helpful.

"And you must make peace with the darkness."

He suggested that part of this was about accepting the mystery, things we cannot understand or even know. Another part is about accepting the earth stuff of death and decomposition and eating bodies.

Then something even stranger: "Dwell in the place between you and what you think is your message. Don't try to control the narrative."

As I sat there, two squirrels raced toward me, one chasing the other. They stopped. One kept coming, climbed up one of Kairos' dead limbs and then went off. The other then approached, close and closer, until it was sitting about eight feet away. There it had a wash. It did a circuit of me, finding things to eat. At one point, I think it was climbing around Kairos' trunk to inspect me. But I couldn't move.

The muntjac fawn walked over. Stared at me. Slowly turned and crept away. A buzzard skimmed the canopy. A leafhopper landed on my arm. I put my finger toward it and it, yes, hopped away. Astonishingly fast and far. A giant green flea!