Hollow places

In the copse a while back, I closed my eyes and saw a hare. The large eye and then the image zoomed out and I saw the head. It was an image that felt as though it were telling me something. Because I am a crazy Crone, I asked the oak tree what the image meant and the tree said, clearly, in my mind, "Go to the hollow places."

I told my father this and he didn't say, "You mad cow." He said, "You have to go back to that hollow tree then."

So I did.

And I sat inside for a long time.

At one point, I had my eyes closed and heard wings doing a U-turn, I opened my eyes to catch a crow veering away. I think he had come to investigate then realised I was a person.

I listened to a blackbird for ten minutes, watching the calls on the sonogram of the Merlin app. The bird called in three second bursts made up of various sounds. He did not repeat a burst exactly at any stage. It was immensely varied. Sometimes he repeated part of a phrase, but differently, from one burst to the next. It was like infinity expressed in song. He also seemed often to deliver two notes simultaneously - I know some birds do that and suppose blackbirds must be among them.

I lay down. That was nice, until I was sure something was about to crawl in my ear.

I was trying to be open to the tree, who had expressed, in my mind, previously, the name "Aulus" and that it was a "Guardian", communicating something. All I got, and it might have been from me not the tree, was "Connect up the hollow places." WTF?

I looked out for more hollow trees and was gratified to find a lovely ash.

The main trunk was hollow, but the stool had several other stems.

Even so, this hardly amounted to an answer.

I went for Tarot. This was kind of interesting because the cards seemed to suggest the hollow might refer to my own Shadow (I drew the Major Arcana "Devils") and that I might have to go into darkness, accompanied by my kin - in my case, earthlings: trees and birds and hares and all - suffer greatly, persevere. So I asked, and for why? The card I drew was the Major Arcana "Strength".

My pack offers a special reading for exploring one's Shadow, so I did that. It suggested that I abhor my perceived laziness, but that letting go of thought could offer inspiration; that I resist my practical, organisational, controlling side, but that could help me work better; that I am afraid of moving away from what is familiar, but I might need to. Then you draw a last card, to see what will help you. The card I drew was the Major Arcana "Strength". Yup. Same card. From the fully shuffled pack.

This seems a Catch-22, though: the two spreads suggest that by working through the hollow places, I will gain strength, but that I need strength to work through the hollow places.

So that's not entirely helpful.

As part of this thing, I also bought the book Hollow Places by Christopher Hadley. Hollow trees are relevant here (a dragon lived in a hollow yew...) but it is as much about the relationship between myth and history. I have only just begun. But that idea... more and more knowledge (collection and organisation) does not really answer the question... James Bridle in New Dark Age says something powerful: maybe it's not about discovering more data, but about thinking differently. Think in systems, not binary, for a start. New connections rather than more collection. You don't have to know to understand; you don't have to label to care; you don't have to have to love.

Random thought, hollow trees are apparently stronger.

Not sure that helps. And this tree was not hollow.