You may recall that some time back I expressed some anxiety about filming. That I am grasping and objectifying. Making static. Making mine. Taking over. Colonialising the other.
And then I go and make a film for a digital journal which involves a lot of intrusion and invasion of privacy.
And then I go and buy an expensive camera which I cannot make work.
Check out this video. Turn the sound down. I didn't edit it. And you see some bits where it's OK, but at the end, the whole problem. The camera does not seem to like to focus.
So, I took the camera back to the shop. I showed them the video and the boss started to look at the camera. He took it into the back room then returned and said they wanted to keep it.
Maybe it's not my stupidity then.
Anyway, on the issue of privacy and filming, of grasping and controlling. What I have decided is that intention matters and effect matters. I have to be filming in a spirit of love and wonder. The films have to be made in an attitude of gratitude and reverence. It has to be about them, the subjects, not about me and my needs and my ego.
Of course, it's hard to disentangle all of this. One wants nice comments about one's film. But the end has to be this: to encourage a way of seeing that acknowledges value.
Focus problems are big problems. Yes it shows up in the video. Glad you've returned that camera.
And I think what you say at the end of the post is wise and well-said and good reasons for filming xx