Sprung born

Well, you might find this a wee bit odd.

I have been pursuing the investigation into shamanic journeying. Nina suggested I visit the "Upper World" as so far I have only been to the lower one. As I hadn't read about this, I chose a guided meditation from YouTube.

This is what happened.

I met an old lady – a person with a real and distinct face. Not a person I know, but one that I would recognise again. My intention was to ask her what is the purpose of my soul, and I did ask. But she pulled my head into her lap and just held me, saying, “Child, you need love to fill up the holes before we can worry about that.” She stroked my face and purred. I asked if I would meet my ancestors. She said, “You have no ancestors! Not here or anywhere! You are sprung born!” I didn’t understand really but accepted. She was so kind. Then she became a lynx that wrapped around me. I asked if the lynx were my guide and she said, “You’re surprised it’s not a hare! That’s because you are the hare. Moon gazing, half-crazed and solitary.” Not that this was meant to disparage me. The tone was tender. Crow was at the window, looking in, a little anxious, jumping up and down (we, the woman and I, were inside a cottage, more of a hut, really). But when I had to leave, Crow was happy to have Lynx there too. Lynx had become separate from the old woman. She gave me a small piece of faded red and blue fabric to take away with me.

????

I felt consoled by the experience and yet also incredibly confused. I tried to return - and enjoyed a warm natural mineral spa bath with the old woman, who was now a sort of queen in a house like the inside of an oyster shell... Oh... wait... I have had that oyster shell experience in a previous journey.... Yeah... here it is... this is even stranger:

I am asking what I have to sacrifice. Crow says I must leave something. I take a moonstone out of my pocket and Crow picks it up and takes it with us. He drops it in the lower world and a mole takes it underground. We go underground and we are inside the moonstone which is like being inside an oyster shell. Idea of oysters taking the detritus out of water – cleaning water – and leaving pearls. Rather like the lily growing in shit. So there’s the idea that giving what is precious can feel natural? Not a sacrifice at all? A way of being. The moonstone is simultaneously swallowed by Crow AND underground (somehow) so we are in it and it is in Crow and Crow is in me. Everything is folded in. Crow says it’s how it is with all the dichotomies we see – that life is in death, what is sacrificed is also what is kept, all these things are not opposites but enfolded in each other.

OK. So that clears things up, doesn't it??

One thing: I asked Ali at the gym about being "sprung born" and he said that I have turned away from the idea of being human. I do not have human ancestors. I am rejecting human heritage. That made sense to me. No wonder I don't fit in! I feel more at home with a robin.