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Writer's pictureCrone

Will I ever find my way?

So, I sat with this tree and did get some consolation and assistance.


Me: Why am I finding this so hard?


WO: There are different types of wisdom. The wisdom for understanding, the wisdom for deciding and the wisdom for connecting. That is the one you seek. The one that's related to the emergent third.


Me: Oh that makes sense and that is so helpful... but what is the wisdom of connecting?


WO: Being in touch, in conversation. Seeing how the communion enables two beings to come into existence through their mutual attention and entanglement. Creating each other as subjects through the acknowledgement of intra-action. All the emergent third really is is the recognition of connection. But the wisdom that arises from it is mind-altering: you accept that you become in the gaze of, conversation with, touch against, entanglement with the other. You accept that they are as much themself as you are yourself. Your entanglement also enables a new process of learning, sharing, evolving. That is why diversity and numbers matter - the more and the more different, the more creative combinations and the world hums with creativity.


Me: OK... I know I am willing to connect with much... but I realise that my intolerance of people is a bad thing... I don't want to be interacting or intra-acting with them. I don't want to face all the destruction and consumption.


WO: That's what bark is for.


Me: What?


WO: Trees are beings of many relationships and millions of connections. But we still need protection. To close off. You need more bark. But not too much. Too much bark and you start to jettison the living wood - which is something many humans do in their enforced separation from the world or from ideas they don't like. There is wisdom in determining how much bark is right. Maybe it's not "a bad thing" to separate from some other people.


Me: But I feel that I should be able to tolerate divergent viewpoints! I should not judge. I shoulder be kinder!


WO: Why? You are not a god! You aren't expected to be able to withstand everything. You are expected to be vulnerable. But not too vulnerable. Bark is the answer to keeping out what you need to keep out. It's just that you can't expect bark to protect you from everything. Only the things you truly need to protect yourself against.


I felt consoled by this and rather better. Except that I missed an Amazon delivery and was obsessing about how I would get my new vape machine and when I would sort out the oil sensor in the car and if the little cat would bloody eat and when I would finally get a good night's sleep and if I would ever draw well again and whether I really needed new working boots and.... well, as I was typing this, the Amazon driver returned with my parcel. I gushed with thanks. And the car is booked in for tomorrow. Little cat? He's on my lap. Eaten... but not enough yet. Sleep?? Well. Who the hell knows.


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maplekey4
19 de fev.

Good post

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